How to Feel Happiness When all You Feel is Empty  

Article by Saddhamala (Nancy Nicolazzo)

There are times in our lives when we feel devastated, overwhelmed, lonely and empty. Anyone who has been divorced or lost a loved one knows these feelings. There are times when we may feel like we will never be happy again. It is at these times, however, that we may witness real beauty – and if we are open to it, we can feel happiness.

I was married for twenty five years. Some of those years were filled with blessings – especially the blessings of two sons. Many of those years were filled with loneliness, depression and despair. I was heartbroken when I realized I could no longer be married to my husband but I knew I could no longer be in a situation where I was not acknowledged as a worthy human being, wife, mother and friend. Although I knew I was worthy in all those roles, I was not acknowledged as such by a most important person in my life, my husband. I felt as though I was invisible and that feeling was devastating. I thought I would never be happy again.

After some time passed I began to notice some very simple things that were achingly beautiful. These beautiful things were simple things: the first flowers of spring, someone opening a door for another person, a man with his son (both of them eating cheese curls) waiting for me to pass through a crowded grocery aisle before he did, an attendant at a blood bank asking me how I was and thanking me for my donation – simple, kind gestures – gestures of great beauty.

I realized that having a broken heart opened me up to small acts of kindness and made me compassionate towards other people – so even though I was feeling empty, I also felt happy when I recognized the beauty of simple, kind gestures – gestures that affected me in a new way. We can be touched by such beauty in the world, when we are aware and observant.

Shattering experiences that leave us feeling empty also open us up to deep happiness. Experiencing a divorce allows us to be understanding and have compassion for others who also experience the loss that divorce brings. With each loss we experience, we can be supported by friends who love us – there is real beauty in that – and recognizing beauty brings deep contentment and happiness. Appreciation of simple acts of kindness can be a result of grieving for the losses we experience – and with that appreciation of beauty, happiness can blossom.

About the Author

Saddhamala, a twenty-year veteran of teaching, consulting and coaching, assists people to find skills that improve their professional and personal lives with skillfulness, compassion and mindfulness.

Saddhamala leverages what she has learned as a mother, teacher and Buddhist practitioner to offer a unique, relevant and valuable perspective to people she coaches.

To learn more about mindful coaching click here http://mindfulworkshops.com

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